From the point of view of relationship psychology, our lives are largely determined by the style of our relationships with other people and how we want to see our place in a world that is constantly changing. The answer to these two questions determines to some extent the direction of our lives. There is no simple rational solution here. It is complex and is influenced by our upbringing, experience, childhood and, among other things, genetic factors.

The relationship matrix discussed in the article is based on the concept of the authors of “Humanistic Leadership Psychology” (Michel Paschen, Erich Diemeyer), where relationships are viewed from the point of view of two polarities. Specifically, we seek close relationships with other people and therefore strive for intimacy and involvement in relationships. Or we may want to separate ourselves from others and strive for individuality and autonomy. Thus, relationship-oriented individuals are open, team-oriented, and easily gain the trust of other team members, while autonomy-oriented individuals are individualistic, more competitive, and constantly strive to stand out from others.

Naturally, this orientation is expressed in different doses among individuals and can vary depending on the context. In some situations we may want closeness, and in others we may want separation. However, in individuals a leading orientation is often noticeable. This is especially noticeable during conflicts. If we observe the people around us and their relationship styles, we will undoubtedly discover the direction of a person's inner compass - individuality, difference and competition, or intimacy and inclusion. There are people who are characterized by the extremes of these two poles, so they are not able to distinguish themselves from others or do not know how to establish relationships.

These two orientations have their own fears. Relationship-oriented people fear loneliness and isolation. People are focused on autonomy - the fear of losing individuality and specialness. As strong as this fear is, so strong and visible is the energy that people expend trying to please and be accepted by others. With the fear of the other polarity, energy is spent on being the center of attention and emphasizing one's superiority whenever possible. These behavioral tendencies have a huge impact on our lives, including our leadership style.

To recognize a tendency in yourself, it is enough to ask the following questions: what is more important to me? Close, open, trusting relationships, common interests, equality with others, a sense of belonging, altruism or, more importantly, distinguishing oneself, achieving more, individuality and a life noticeably different from the lives of others.

The behavioral patterns that characterize both trends are presented in more detail below.

Relationship orientation

The main fear is loneliness and isolation.

When this orientation is strong:

Seeks intimacy with others;

Seeks tasks that are meaningful and help others;

He is open and sensitive to other people;

Emotionally attached to others and forgives other people's mistakes;

In relation to others he is inclined to altruism, communicates peacefully and modestly;

Prefers moral and humane behavior;

Suffering when he feels distance and rejection;

Tries to create a harmonious atmosphere in cooperation;

Doesn't criticize others.

Autonomy orientation:

The main fear is a lack of individuality and significance.

When this orientation is strong:

Seeks admiration and recognition in the eyes of others;

Particular importance is attached to unusualness and individuality;

Emphasizes the difference between them and others;

Extremely confident;

Avoids dependence on others;

Emotionally distant from others;

Treats others with criticism and skepticism;

Copes with conflicts without feeling significant personal burden;

In many situations, there is a feeling of competition with others.

The second fundamental question concerns our identity in a changing world. We can answer this question from two polarities. At one end of the continuum is creating a computational, predictive and manageable framework for yourself in a changing world. This pole is called the balance orientation. People with this orientation seek rules, regularity, predictability, and structure. The second polarity of the continuum is stimulation orientation. Such individuals want to fully experience the vicissitudes of the world. They look for novelty and change in everything; they are characterized by adventurism and curiosity.

Like the polarities of relationship orientation, these directions also have their own fears. Balance-oriented people fear uncertainty, spontaneity, and therefore freedom. This fear is addressed by creating an island of rules, control and predictability.

On the other hand, stimulation-oriented people have a fear of conforming to rules and being static. The worst thing that can happen in their life is to miss out on something important or great. Their fear is attachment, limitation and the impossibility of freedom and spontaneity.

If we look closely, we will find people around us who suffer from a lack of regularity in their lives, when unexpected events require them to be flexible, or when things don't go according to plan. Additionally, there are people around us who really worry about committing themselves to something or someone, be it a life partner, a lifestyle choice, or just a commitment. These people suffer when they have the impression that there is a closed door in their life that cannot be opened.

Focus on balance

The main fear is uncertainty and disorientation.

When this orientation is strong:

Striving for order and security;

Performs tasks conscientiously, thoroughly and tirelessly;

Looking for consistency;

Has established habits;

Is careful about risks;

Acts reliably and conscientiously;

Insists on compliance with rules and punishment for deviations from the rules;

Constantly controlling other people.

stimulus orientation

The main fear is obedience to rules and inviolability.

When this orientation is strong:

Avoids commitment and leaves many options open;

Copes with a variety of situations flexibly and spontaneously;

Leave the past behind and try something new;

Takes risks;

He approaches new topics and challenges with imagination and curiosity;

Ends relationships and starts new ones if it offers new experiences and adventures.

All orientations manifest themselves in each of us with different priorities and to varying degrees, and, naturally, this also applies to leadership relationships - leadership relationships, their different motivations and behavior patterns pass through these four orientations. Our dominant characteristics are most clearly felt in conflict. Therefore, it is especially important for leaders to understand the basic orientations and polarities in themselves, which in itself makes it easier to see and accept others, as well as prevent conflicts and manage them effectively.

The complexity, ambiguity and rapid change of the modern world are the biggest challenges for both individuals and organizations. Each of us feels the difficulties of adapting to change on our shoulders, and this pressure manifests itself in different ways in our daily lives, whether it be confusion, stress or burnout. One of the main questions of today is - how to deal with all this? What do we most need in order to achieve the desired results in the light of the current reality, without losing the feeling of fulfillment and happiness that comes from being involved in the process?

In Gestalt psychology, development (life in general) is seen as the interaction of the organism and the environment, as a result of which the personality changes and grows. This attitude is called creative adaptation. The contact of a person with the environment is the more creative, the less it is conditioned by rigid formulas and schemes. Accordingly, its growth and development is greater. Creative thinking is even more relevant in a world where the pace of change is accelerating and where artificial intelligence will replace many routine tasks. One of the major challenges facing modern organizations is how to build an organizational culture that encourages creative and growth-oriented thinking, where employees themselves are change makers, where they are created according to a clear vision and values.

systems and decisions are made. To better understand the benefits of creative thinking, let's take a closer look at how it differs from reactive (fixed) thinking, what determines their formation. First of all, it should be said that both types of thinking have different rules of the game and both games are an integral part of our reality.

Reactive thinking works according to the rules of the outer game. This is an orientation towards external reality, this is the development of knowledge and competencies that the environment requires from us. It is our existing knowledge and experience, managerial, technical and leadership competencies adapted to the requirements of the outdoor game. As a result, the so-called "traditional ways" of adapting to the environment are formed and strengthened. Fixed or reactive thinking. Reactive thinking is defensively oriented, trying to play in such a way that it doesn't lose. Every day more and more energy is required to respond to the changing and growing demands of the environment. During outdoor play, a person's sense of security and worth depends on external validation. Since any knowledge today becomes obsolete, and the environment sets new tasks for a person, external assessments also change rapidly and are unstable over time. Adapting to them requires a lot of energy from a person. As a result, anxiety and feelings of pressure increase.

Fixed or reactionary thinking (same external game) reacts to problems,

It is possible to reduce the severity of problems, but not to bring about qualitative changes. This is one of its main limitations. When the outer game dominates and the inner game constantly follows it, the result is increased stress and tension, and a decrease in human happiness. The external game finds a corresponding reflection in the organizational culture. In fixed mindset organizations, innovation and innovative approaches are not encouraged or implemented, they are intimidated by competition, and they struggle to maintain their position. In conditions of reactive management, the “language of guilt” is often used, there are frequent conversations about problems and endless attempts to find their causes, although they cannot be eliminated, there is no qualitative change in the context that caused the problems. The employee is uninitiated and waits for tasks, is afraid to make a mistake, so he does not take a step towards innovations. In such an organizational culture, the worker is lost and depressed, unable to develop and realize his creative potential. Hence, his engagement and happiness index is very low. As for the inner game, this is a process directed from the inside out, which is based on self-knowledge, awareness of one's own desires. The focus of the inner game is “what I want, what worries me”, and not “what I need, what they will tell me”. Accordingly, it is development-oriented, in which case a person contributes to the valuable work for him with his unique “I”, unique vision. A person focused on the inner game has a vision of the future and consciously takes steps towards it. Indoor games develop creative thinking. At this time, with each contact with the environment, the individual creates a unique experience, creating something that did not exist before. Creative Thinking "It's a game to win with all your heart, with nothing to gain and nothing to lose" (Larry Wilson, The Game to Win). The "inside game" does not depend on external debt. In such cases, failure is also an experience and, as a result, self-esteem is not destroyed. The internal game is a complex internal system in which the individual ability to give meaning (who we are and how we see our own identity, how we see our role in the world) is built; Decision-making process (what are the values and beliefs based on which we make decisions), self-awareness and a high level of emotional intelligence. Inner play, also known as the growth mindset, combines skills such as dignity, sincerity, high self-awareness, cooperation, courage, humility, intuition, inner wisdom. It is these qualities that are vital for us to grow and develop in contact with the environment, and not vice versa, to be repressed and become hostile. These character traits develop creative abilities in us and create the right ground for the development of new competencies, a better mood, interest and openness.

Those organizations that focus on the internal game, attach the greatest importance to the vision and values, the coincidence of the values of the organization and the employee. Such organizations create space for development, gaining new experience, introducing innovations. Teamwork and collaboration are encouraged. In such a culture, they promote self-awareness and action with conscious motivation, choosing things in accordance with the interests of the worker. Welcome openness, changes and support each other in these changes. Today's complex, fast-paced and ambiguous reality requires individuals and organizations to pay more attention to the inner game as it is a more reliable system to navigate. Establishing a healthy relationship with the environment without a strong internal play structure is unthinkable. Understanding the importance of the internal game for the leaders of the organization and readiness for transformation is the first step, although the successful transformation of the organization is possible with an integrated approach, consistent and daily work. It is a process involving continuous and often painful decisions. Proper assessment of this process and appropriate preparation are prerequisites for the desired change. For simplicity, we can say that the successful transformation of the organization is associated with consistent changes in all three areas (vision, organizational culture and performance systems) and maintaining their balance. We share this approach in ACT, in the direction of management consulting ACT offers organizations a successful transformation model POWER3. The balance of the three forces achieved in the process of transformation can become a prerequisite for a harmonious transition to the inner game. Finally, if we can move from reactive thinking to creative thinking, we can create a vision that best aligns with our inner values. Values will energize us and give us the strength to master every day the work that best expresses our core message and brings us closer each time to the vision we created.

„Culture is not just one aspect of the game – It is the game. In the end, an organization is nothing more than the collective capacity of its people to create value.“
Lou Gerstner, Jr. – IBM

We often come across of such a statement, in today’s world a transformation is not a choice, it is a new norm and whether you want it or not, the companies could not survive without it. But when is the best time to really transform an organization? Is it enough just to look at and look through the future of the industry and develop a new vision of the company to meet a new reality? Obviously, taking steps without having the right vision is more like wandering blindly in the forest, though in line with the vision it is most important to guess how sufficiently equipped we are; how much our values, competencies, skills, systems, or any other resources are capable to support us to follow the path to our future company with minor losses and essential creativity.

It is probably no news to anyone to say that the real transformation begins with one’s self. By realizing and analyzing the company's own leadership qualities, values, limiting beliefs and thoughts, and feeling its role and importance in the new vision of the company, the internal shifts that lead us to the first steps on the path of the change begin.

The key questions in the transformation process sound like this - where am I today and where do I want to be? What prevents me from getting where I want to get? What will help me to walk this path with minor losses and an environmentally friendly way? What are my leadership qualities and skills and what is my leadership energy like? In which role can I best demonstrate them?

These questions are quite difficult to answer, and if the company could not afford to create a field where the internal search process is invigorated, then the answers might also be superficial. Creating this field is the basis of a transformational organizational culture, and only on such a basement can a culture be built that can breathe with live, create and make a system shape accordingly to ensure the realization of a company's vision through the realization of individual human capabilities. The values in such a culture have a leading role where there is a vivid consensus in understanding them. All this is translated into the language of common game rules in daily activities, which is one of the major conditions to achieve the best results.

In today's fast-paced and unforeseeable world, revision of the structures and positions of the companies that have been successful for years but have lost their flexibility is now even more urgent and can no longer adequately respond to the challenges faced in the surrounding environment. Today it can be that in the same position, in the same company, different competencies and skills are prioritized for different time periods and that too is never enough. That is why it is extremely important to understand the roles together with the positions, to strengthen the team leadership along with the individual leadership, to meet the expectations instead of writing the detailed descriptions of functions and duties, to bring in the best results, to create projects to be done and to execute them as it is supposed according to project rules.

Too often in the companies where hierarchical systems are strictly determined, employees feel like being trapped within their own positions, often finding it difficult to see and recognize that the organizational vertical limits their ability to fully express themselves and their interests, while the brilliant results are achieved through flexible systems based on teamwork principles. In such hierarchical systems, the rules are canonized while the employees do not understand their importance, and the rules are followed without any enthusiasm, where it is forced, or even ignored, while horizontal arrangement and team principles vitalize the rule. The rule and the system can be understood not as a punishment, or as a hindrance, but as a support in order to do our job best. These are the changes that ACT underwent in the first stage of its transformation, as a result of which the organizational culture in the company today is a clear example of a living order.

Team play is seen as an integral part of a transformational organizational culture. It requires understanding and respect for your own and team members’ strengths and weaknesses. Successful team play is impossible without the ability to open up, recognize failure and success, share and self-reflection. It is also important to know how to speak a common language so that we do not lose our uniqueness; how to balance each other and overcome a task, the success of which often depends on the competence, skill, responsibility and concerted work of many people. Team leadership also implies the understanding of the fact that even the best qualities of a person can become a barrier if he is not in the right place and in the right role, and that all qualities are equally important for a magnificent success.

The Companies where equal importance is given to both the results and the way in which these results are achieved; as well as the Companies that are equally centered on the outside and the inside environment, achieve more glorious results, are innovators, and are resilient to storms threatened from the outside world.

ACT's unique management model, named The Power of Three, allows us to simultaneously see and implement the need for management and transformation in three areas. A real transformation is possible only if you have a clear vision of where you are going, and share the relevant values needed to realize that vision while they should come right from your heart. This could be done best through the development of systems and enforcement mechanisms. In such a model, the culture is congruent and organic to each employee of the company and ensures the maintenance of vitality and sustainability.